Andrea Badger-Illustration

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Posted by Andrea Badger at 8:25 AM

Andrea Badger: I was born in 1834, a bastard child of George Washington and a 2-headed bearded lady in a traveling circus. I was thrown in the trash were I was found by mutant rats and raised in the sewers of upstate New York. In 1950 I found work in a Twinkies factory in New Mexico that used radioactive waste as the main ingredient of their cream filling. Though cost effective, it gave many people an insatiable hunger for human brains. After years of exposure I gradually developed super human powers. I can now manifest any song out of thin air, and throw little cocktail swords faster than any man or machine! At first I was praised as a God, until I accidentally caused an entire town to go deaf when I got food poisoning from a Mexican restaurant and created Menudo while sleepwalking. Now I'm in hiding, outcast from society because of that tragedy, under the assumed name RAZZDANGO!!!!

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